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Lavender Labia
Lavender Labia

sugaredvenom:

jadelyn:

likeadeadchinadoll:

And for those interested, you can find the report HERE.

Just in case any dudebros are unclear on what this means: it means that your buddy who totally just had some bitch trying to ruin his life by accusing him of rape…almost certainly actually did rape her.  

Just keep that in mind.

99.4% are real.

I just wanna highlight an important section from the report:

The report shows that a significant number of these cases involved young, often vulnerable people. About half of the cases involved people aged 21 years old and under, and some involved people with mental health difficulties. In some cases, the person alleged to have made the false report had undoubtedly been the victim of some kind of offence, even if not the one which he or she had reported. 

Also another “false allegation” is described: 

[A woman who] ultimately pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice on the basis that she had falsely retracted true allegations of rape she had made against her husband.

And this: 

In 38% of all decisions, the initial complaint of rape or domestic violence had been made by someone other than the suspect. […] It was a feature of these cases that the suspect later reported that the whole thing had spiralled out of control and he or she had felt unable to stop the investigation. 

Think about that for a while.

[TW: description of racist violence and brutality]

call-of-cthulhu:

sinidentidades:

Australia’s history of racism towards Aboriginals is absolutely disgusting. 

Until the mid-60s, indigenous Australians came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an indigenous Australian meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.

To this day, Australia breaks every code of the Geneva Convention when it comes to indigenous Australians and their human rights. The “public housing” that the government has given them are one-bedroom shacks with no running water, no electricity and no gas, that entire families are forced to live in. These shacks are in communities in the outback, as far away from “civilised” society as possible. Out of sight, out of mind.

Indigenous Australians that live in the city are commonly forced to live in very dangerous and derelict areas that the government gives very little funding towards. Redfern in Sydney is a highly indigenous Australian populated suburb that is rife with crime, unemployment and horrendous living conditions. The government does next to nothing to help these people, either.

Whenever riots have broken out as a result of incredibly low morale, the police and the government are very quick to point all the blame at the indigenous Australians and say that they are the cause of their own problems, rather than looking at what the actual cause is.

Unemployment rates amongst indigenous Australians is astronomical. Crime rates are astronomical. Suicide rates are extremely high within the indigenous Australian community. Death from inadequate living conditions and inadequate health care is common. Brutality towards indigenous Australians is common.

The way many indigenous Australians are forced to live is equivalent to that of what one would expect from a third-world country. Indigenous Australians are considered by the UN to be one of the most horrendously marginalised groups in the world.

And how does the government amend all of this? With a national “Sorry Day”, where white people plant a hand in some designated area of soil as a token of their white guilt, and then continue going about their white privileged day.

On top of that, white people here commonly bitch and complain about how “good” indigenous Australians have it and how “thankful” they ought to be to the white man for improving their quality of life. Meanwhile, indigenous Australians have lost almost all sense of identity and culture because of white colonisation.

What is left of Aboriginal identity and culture has been nearly completely destroyed. And most people in this disgustingly privileged country do not give a single god damn fuck.

Australia is a disgusting country when it comes to racism. I am disgusted by my own country.

I have always believed Australia is the most racist country in the entire world. Not “one of”, but “THE” most racist. This is true of both their history and current behaviour, as well as at institutional and individual levels. 

And for anyone who doubts this, I present two examples just off the top of my head:

In one a 12 year old boy was detained and prosecuted for ‘receiving stolen goods’ after a friend gave him a 70 cent Freddo chocolate bar stolen from the supermarket. SEVENTY FUCKING CENTS. 

Oh look, here’s a man who was literally BOILED to death in a police van after being arrested for drink driving. Charming. 

And let’s not forget that it used to be legal to hunt indigenous people for sport. Not even under the guise of some policy or political motivation, just sport. I’ll leave you with this quote

White convicts regularly hunted Black people for sport, casually shooting, spearing or clubbing the men to death, torturing and raping the women, and roasting Black infants alive.

Fuck everything.

ETA: Just want to link to some additional commentary made after I posted this. 

[TW: rape, vaginal injuries, surgical procedures]

lavenderlabia:

Funding refused for rape survivor

By Brenda Vowden

image

Jacqui Scott does not want to die early. But if the 61-year-old doesn’t find $200,000 before March 5 next year, there is every possibility she will.

Ms Scott was attacked and raped in 2005, resulting in injuries that had required surgery.

Two surgical mesh devices - one of them a Prolift Total Pelvic Floor Repair System, the biggest mesh ever made - were inserted during a nine-hour operation at Auckland Hospital.

A year later she was still having symptoms - disabling pain in her abdomen, back and legs. “I started to query it because I was in a huge amount of pain.

"I kept going to the hospital and having cystoscopies - I was always told there was nothing wrong and it was just the stress from the attack and all in my head," she said.

She “tried everything” but was unable to obtain a medical explanation or any help in New Zealand. After extensive online research, she found an article about health problems caused by erosion and shrinkage of the implants.

She requested a copy of her medical records and found that both of the mesh implants used in her surgery are on the US Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) list of medical devices that have caused adverse events. There was also a warning of the many severe complications associated with the implants.

She says she wasn’t informed about the potential for complications.

Suffering extreme pain from nerve damage, limited mobility, a compromised immune system, bouts of shingles, teeth and hair loss and severe depression, last year Jacqui paid to see a surgeon in Wellington, who confirmed her fears and told her the pain was real - her mesh had eroded.

Since that visit, she has seen several surgeons who have said the Prolift mesh system, of which she has the only one in the country, can’t be removed in New Zealand.

"It was designed to be put in once and never removed. The manufacturers are being sued overseas for defective product, failure to warn and damages."

Jacqui says the mesh is breaking off into slivers and travelling through her abdomen.

"It’s not very nice - there’s a lot of pain. I could become too sick to have it removed."

There is no one in New Zealand trained to remove the mesh, and ACC has denied her request to fund the operation overseas. “They just dropped me. My case manager told me if they said yes, it will cost the country thousands of dollars because it will open the door to other people. I burst into tears.”

Ms Scott has been offered the surgery in March next year by two American doctors and has an appointment to have the mesh removed by Dr Schlomo Raz, a urogynaecologist at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, who is a recognised world-class expert.

Dr Raz has described the growing number of women suffering from mesh implant complications as an “epidemic”.

Jacqui doesn’t have the funds to travel to the US.

She must raise US$200,000 to cover the surgery and travel expenses.

She has set up an online fundraising site on Givealittle and is hoping for help from a sympathetic public.

"I feel like I’m one of New Zealand’s dirty little secrets - I’m being swept under the carpet, tossed aside.

"It’s way, way cruel - it’s not the rape that’s going to kill me, it’s the mesh."

It is utterly despicable that this isn’t covered through public health or ACC. Please donate and/or signal boost if you are able. Any help is appreciated. 

[TW: rape, vaginal injuries, surgical procedures]

Funding refused for rape survivor

By Brenda Vowden

Jacqui Scott does not want to die early. But if the 61-year-old doesn’t find $200,000 before March 5 next year, there is every possibility she will.

Ms Scott was attacked and raped in 2005, resulting in injuries that had required surgery.

Two surgical mesh devices - one of them a Prolift Total Pelvic Floor Repair System, the biggest mesh ever made - were inserted during a nine-hour operation at Auckland Hospital.

A year later she was still having symptoms - disabling pain in her abdomen, back and legs. “I started to query it because I was in a huge amount of pain.

"I kept going to the hospital and having cystoscopies - I was always told there was nothing wrong and it was just the stress from the attack and all in my head," she said.

She “tried everything” but was unable to obtain a medical explanation or any help in New Zealand. After extensive online research, she found an article about health problems caused by erosion and shrinkage of the implants.

She requested a copy of her medical records and found that both of the mesh implants used in her surgery are on the US Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) list of medical devices that have caused adverse events. There was also a warning of the many severe complications associated with the implants.

She says she wasn’t informed about the potential for complications.

Suffering extreme pain from nerve damage, limited mobility, a compromised immune system, bouts of shingles, teeth and hair loss and severe depression, last year Jacqui paid to see a surgeon in Wellington, who confirmed her fears and told her the pain was real - her mesh had eroded.

Since that visit, she has seen several surgeons who have said the Prolift mesh system, of which she has the only one in the country, can’t be removed in New Zealand.

"It was designed to be put in once and never removed. The manufacturers are being sued overseas for defective product, failure to warn and damages."

Jacqui says the mesh is breaking off into slivers and travelling through her abdomen.

"It’s not very nice - there’s a lot of pain. I could become too sick to have it removed."

There is no one in New Zealand trained to remove the mesh, and ACC has denied her request to fund the operation overseas. “They just dropped me. My case manager told me if they said yes, it will cost the country thousands of dollars because it will open the door to other people. I burst into tears.”

Ms Scott has been offered the surgery in March next year by two American doctors and has an appointment to have the mesh removed by Dr Schlomo Raz, a urogynaecologist at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, who is a recognised world-class expert.

Dr Raz has described the growing number of women suffering from mesh implant complications as an “epidemic”.

Jacqui doesn’t have the funds to travel to the US.

She must raise US$200,000 to cover the surgery and travel expenses.

She has set up an online fundraising site on Givealittle and is hoping for help from a sympathetic public.

"I feel like I’m one of New Zealand’s dirty little secrets - I’m being swept under the carpet, tossed aside.

"It’s way, way cruel - it’s not the rape that’s going to kill me, it’s the mesh."

It is utterly despicable that this isn’t covered through public health or ACC. Please donate and/or signal boost if you are able. Any help is appreciated. 

shortformblog:

Huge crowds inside capitol. This is a (mostly) pro-life gathering right here.

Okay, if you want to be a father, find someone who wants to bear your child. It is really that simple. 
What gives him the right to control someone’s body in order to fulfil his dreams of fatherhood? Someone needs to force a large knife through his chest and make him keep it there for nine months. 

shortformblog:

Huge crowds inside capitol. This is a (mostly) pro-life gathering right here.

Okay, if you want to be a father, find someone who wants to bear your child. It is really that simple. 

What gives him the right to control someone’s body in order to fulfil his dreams of fatherhood? Someone needs to force a large knife through his chest and make him keep it there for nine months. 

When we excuse homophobia as a matter of opinion instead of treating it as a destructive social illness, we invite fear to explode into violence…If we are ever to scrape the black rot of prejudice from the heart of our nation, we must stop excusing those who give it expression and even excuse. The next time someone dares to say, “Just because I don’t approve of homosexuality doesn’t make me a bigot,” we must all answer back, “Yes, it does. Not only does it make you a bigot, it makes you a criminal, a danger to me, my family, my community, my city, and my country.”
Of the characters shown on prime time television 3 percent are Asian, 4 percent are Latino, and 16 percent are African-American; the remaining 74 percent are White. Also, that 19 percent of primetime TV characters are non-human as opposed to only 17 percent of primetime characters being women. Content analysis studies have shown that typically minorities are associated with crime, violence, and substance abuse and are rarely seen in interracial interactions unless it is with an authority figure. Researchers have found that because of the negative portrayal of minorities, minority children who watch a lot of television have a poor self-concept and do not want to participate in society outside of their community. As a result of the distorted view of African-Americans in the media, African-American children often reject their non-White, non-European heritage.

[TW: domestic violence]

The other question everybody asks is, why doesn’t she just leave? Why didn’t I walk out? I could have left any time. To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because we victims know something you usually don’t: It’s incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship, after she’s gotten out, because then the abuser has nothing left to lose. Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuser remarries; denial of financial resources; and manipulation of the family court system to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced by family court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat their mother. And still we ask, why doesn’t she just leave?

Leslie Morgan Steiner, “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”

The question itself is part of a system of oppression. It’s not a real inquiry, it’s a reminder that abuse is a problem that the abused person should solve.

If it were a sincere inquiry, we’d hear, just as often, “If he was unhappy, why didn’t he leave instead of beating her?” But we don’t hear that.

(via tvandcomplaints)

sinidentidades:

People starving when tons of unsold food is thrown away globally because people couldn’t afford to purchase the food, that’s violence. 

People dying and going bankrupt to pay for their healthcare, that’s violence. 

People being evicted from their homes when there are more houses than there are houseless people, that’s violence.

A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.”

Mary Dickson

[CW: discussion of rape culture and violence]

This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them. 

I think that says a lot. 

(via kaitg)

Its interesting also that these fears sit subconsciously until woman are asked to exams their responses to men. We women will operate with this fear in mind, the way we protect ourselves, make sure our friends know where we are when we go on a date, words that we use while interacting with men, all in hopes they will not kill us, but simultaneously love us. 

I think bell hooks made a point about this in her series on love. Something along the lines of how can women hope to love and receive love from men when at the foundation of our relationships there is this strong fear of men. You can’t build true trust when your foundation is crumbling under you. 

The scariest part is, once you recognize this fear, and face it, how do you address it when there is evidence of “good” men abusing, hurting, and killing women everyday?

(via becomingchichi)

I was in my early 20’s when one of my homegirls broke this down for me.  

I was in a broken relationship, and one of the things was that bugged me at the time was that the girlfriend at the time would freak out whenever I got angry - I never yelled, never throw or hit things, mostly, I just needed some time to cool out.

“Why does she get scared when I’m angry? I’d never hit her!”

“But she doesn’t KNOW that.  She can’t assume that.  Look at how many dudes are out there pulling shit.”

And that stuck with me for a hot minute.  The relationship was broken on so many levels anyway, but that fact still remains, as a man, I can’t fault women for assuming the worst in order to protect themselves, especially how the world’s patriarchy and misogyny rolls.

(via bankuei)

I’ve had continual discussions with Tchy about this, and I don’t expect to stop. It’s fair to say that there’s no one in the world that I trust more, and he has been extremely careful with me, but… the fact remains that he leans quite a bit towards the masculine, and this means that that fear is always there. The news of transmasculine folks abusing/raping people doesn’t help that fear any. :(

I’m learning not to apologize for it. It’s not my fault (nor, really, is it his) that I’m scared of dude-type people. But it’s always there. Which is another reason why I get so pissed off when trans men try to make transmisogyny about them.

(via kiriamaya)

This is an incredible thread of responses. I’ve seen this quote before, but not the dialogue that built up around it. The part about loud=violent hits home particularly hard for me. I am terrified of getting into irl arguments with men, especially when they get loud. It’s always going to sit in the pit of my stomach.

(via mizbingley)

That part resonates for me too, although from a completely different angle. Despite being more terrified of sexual violence than I am of anything other than my own brain, I do not hesitate to yell, confront, get up in the face of, threaten, even hit men twice my size and many times my strength. Faced with a threat of violence from men, I will either imply or state “I dare you to.”

I also, as previously established on this blog, have a death wish.

To me, that encapsulates everything about the violence, especially sexual violence, coded into relationships between men and women in our society: for a woman to assert herself in the face of maleness may require the woman in question (such as me) to be perpetually suicidal.

(via 14kgoldnyc)

Reblogging for commentary. I have been frightened and scared by men being loud with me, even if I don’t think they’ll be violent. Like people have said above, it’s just a latent response in your brain to fear violence from men.

I went out to dinner with someone a couple of weeks ago (LONG story, was supposed to be a group dinner but it ended up just being me & a strange man) and I told him I blogged about feminism and politics, and he went off on me. He told me feelings were bullshit and women just wanted special privileges, and then he said, “Women don’t give men enough credit for not being violent psychopaths. That’s what we are, deep down. We want to rape and pillage, and we don’t, and women don’t give us enough credit for that.” I burst into tears. That shit was terrifying.

(via stfuconservatives)

I too am reblogging this for the amazing commentary. 

When supposed feminist ally men deny this very basic, simple truth - that’s how you know they are an ally to no one.

This all gets taught to women at a very young age, how dangerous the world is when you’re in it being a woman. I’ve been struggling to write about something that happened with my daughter a few weeks ago, how to form the words, but this is possibly the best context.

We were in the wine shop, in line to pay, and she was so excited to get her lollipop (in the time honored tradition of wine stores everywhere). A man two people ahead of us started fighting with the woman behind the counter about how much money he’d given her. As I was moving her behind my body, my daughter froze, and when I say froze, I mean wasn’t moving a muscle except to shake.

It sorted itself out pretty quickly. We paid and left.

Once we got back into the car, she started crying. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, “Mama, I was so scared. When men get angry they shoot people.”

That’s a direct quote. When men get angry, they shoot people.

I asked her, “Baby, why do you think that?” She replied, “on NPR, that’s what happens. When men get really mad they kill people. That guy was really mad, what if he had a gun? What would you do?”

The talk we had afterwards was difficult; no one said parenting was easy. But this is the life we live as women. If my 9 year old understands it, then men of the world, alleged feminist allies, Nice Guys, random douches on the street, and even actual non-dangerous men: so can you.

(via someauthorgirl)

I’ve reblogged this quote before, I think. But reblogging now for the amazing commentary.

I was having a discussion with my father and brother the other day. We were talking about receiving threats of rape or violence via the internet. Their whole argument was “just ignore it and walk away from your computer”. Amazing solution. Can’t believe I never thought of that. It’s so clever because we all know that when you leave your keyboard the threat of violence disappears. 

Urgh. 

[CW: cissexist assumptions, discussion of rape and suicide] Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

The difference between ‘all men are rapists’ and ‘a woman cannot tell by looking at a man whether he is a rapist’ is vast and readily discerned. And I am really tired of reading rape apologists conflate the two, as if they are easily confused. Failing to distinguish between the two is not a mistake; it’s an agenda.
Melissa McEwan
[TW: rape, victim blaming, sexual assault]

hilaroar:

#SafetyTipsForLadies - or, Why Victim Blaming is Moronic

The other day I was going about my business when I happened to read this moronic article explaining how advocating ‘risk management’ (barf) is not ‘victim blaming’.

I’ve read a lot of articles like this, but that one, for some reason, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I am absolutely sick to death of being told what to wear and what to do and how to be, as though any of that will somehow save me from being raped. It’s not a woman’s responsibility to prevent sexual assault. How about we teach men not to rape instead?

How about we recognise that being drunk, being ‘sexy’, being out having fun, being loud, being trans, being queer, being sexually active - none of it causes rape, because rapists cause rape?

How about we stop pretending that if women follow some stupid, Byzantine set of ‘rules’ we’ll be safe?

But the real thing that gets me about these ‘safety tips’ is this:

THEY ALL ASSUME WOMEN ARE MORONS.

Every single article I read containing hot tips! on how to be safe reads like the author thinks women have never heard or thought about their personal safety before.

Fun fact: Women think about personal safety, like, all the time. We carry a spare pair of shoes. We don’t listen to music so we can listen out for people coming up behind us. We get a cab instead of walking, if we’re lucky enough to afford it (not that that’s exactly a safe option either).

We think and we watch and we listen because we know by being a woman we’re at risk. Every one of my female friends and I have our own list of things we do to be safe, a lot of stuff that has been conditioned in us since childhood and that we now do subconsciously, without thinking. Because we live in a rape culture.

SO STOP. Stop writing stupid, patronising bullshit articles telling us WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW.

Plus. Half your tips are fucking stupid anyway.

So, in response to the stupid Punch article, I decided to start tweeting my own ‘hot safety tips’, with the hashtag #SafetyTipsForLadies.

Then others began to join in, and it pretty much took off. Here are some of my favourites:

And finally, the best one of the entire list:

The best thing ever. 

[TW: rape culture, victim blaming] For readers interested in learning more about how not to be labeled as registered sex offenders, a good first step is not to rape unconscious women, no matter how good your grades are. Regardless of the strength of your GPA (weighted or unweighted), if you commit rape, there is a possibility you may someday be convicted of a sex crime. This is because of your decision to commit a sex crime instead of going for a walk, or reading a book by Cormac McCarthy. Your ability to perform calculus or play football is generally not taken into consideration in a court of law. Should you prefer to be known as ‘Good student and excellent football player Trent Mays’ rather than ‘Convicted sex offender Trent Mays,’ try stressing the studying and tackling and giving the sex crimes a miss altogether…

Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richardson are not the “stars” of the Steubenville rape trial. They aren’t the only characters in a drama playing out in eastern Ohio. And yet a CNN viewer learning about the Steubenville rape verdict is presented with dynamic, sympathetic, complicated male figures, and a nonentity of an anonymous victim, the ‘lasting effects’ of whose graphic, public sexual assault are ignored. Small wonder, then, that anyone would find themselves on the side of these men—these poor young men, who were very good at taking tests and playing sports when they were not raping their classmates.

Mallory Ortberg, Gawker, critiquing CNN’s coverage of the Stuebenville case