WOMEN CAN BE SEXIST.
MINORITIES CAN BE RACIST.
GAYS/TRANS/ETC CAN BE IGNORANT.
ATHEISTS CAN BE BIGOTED.
YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED.
But not to be confused with the equally true statements that: men cannot be victims of sexism; white people cannot be victims of racism; straight people cannot be victims of homophobia; and cis people cannot be victims of transphobia.
Oppressed groups can be oppressive only towards other members of their group (i.e. internalised oppression), or towards people from differently-oppressed groups.
Nitpick (Or clarification? You may have meant this by ‘differently-oppressed groups’, I guess): A person who is a member of a group that is privileged on a particular axis of oppression can be a victim of bigotry along that axis by someone who is a member of a group that is not privileged along that axis, if the first person is unprivileged along a different axis compared to the second person and the situation is one that gives the former power over the latter.
For example, a woman who is bigoted against men will not usually be able to meaningfully act on that, but if she’s a home health worker and she has a severely disabled man as a client, she could take the opportunity to abuse him because of his gender and there might not be anything he can do about it. (Intersectionality is a thing for people who aren’t disprivileged along multiple axes, too.)
That is a relatively rare sort of situation, but given that a lot of people tend to go looking for situations where they’ll have power over the sorts of people they don’t like, it probably shouldn’t be ignored.
Thank you! That’s a good addition to the commentary. By ‘differently oppressed’ I meant the situation you describe, but I was more saying the woman wouldn’t be being sexist she would be being ableist (because she’s specifically exerting her own capabilities over someone who is disabled).
Do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. The whole limp-wrist thing? That’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. Same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
Taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.
This is my answer when people say eating disorders are personal problems and have nothing to do with sexism. Women are literally socialized to take up as little space as possible all day every day.
I have a little different perspective, being a crutch and wheelchair user. If I’m out somewhere, lets say a sidewalk, I don’t move for anyone. If I’m barreling down the sidewalk at my usual fast crutching pace, I expect you to get the fuck out of my way. Most people do because they have common courtesy or don’t wanna be smacked by crutches, but I’ve had a few problems, most with dudebro types. Or people who just stare at me like they’ve never seen a damn cripple before but that’s a different post.
Reblogging for the amaze commentary. Bolded for emphasis.
We often talk on Tumblr about making feminist spaces, but this isn’t just an abstract concept. We literally need to take up more space and claim them as feminist spaces.
Also, if anyone has a copy of the post OP mentions then I would super love to see it. Thanks!
When trans women are told that they need to stop being assertive and strong because it is a sign of male privilege - invariably by “feminists” who, of course, encourage cis women to be assertive and strong - that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women are pressured into being silent, rarely offering their opinion, and refusing leadership roles for fear of being seen as male or accused of having male privilege, that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women are afraid to analyze or discuss the role of male privilege in their life because of the way accusations of male privilege have been used as weapons to silence, shame, and misgender trans women, that’s transmisogyny.
When trans women do analyze and discuss the role of male privilege in their lives and come to different conclusions than the dominant cis feminist perspective and are told it is because they simply don’t understand privilege or are ignorant of feminism, that’s transmisogyny.
|—||Tobi Hill-Meyer, “What Transmisogyny Looks Like”|
Listen ladies, when guys are upset to be in the friendzone, most of the time it’s because they wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with you, NOT just because they wanted to stick their p in your v. They are entitled to be fucking disappointed in the same way you would be disappointed if someone you had a crush on wasn’t interested in you. Which, given some of your fucking attitudes, probably happens all the time.
LOL, it’s telling that you use the word ‘entitled’ because that’s what the friendzone is about; men feeling entitled to a woman’s time or body. That is also why it’s such a revolting and offensive concept.
Secondly, most women aren’t ‘disappointed’ when they find out a crush doesn’t like them back*. Disappointment implies expectation. Disappointment is the feeling of being sad because you thought you deserved or were owed something, but you didn’t get it. That’s why the friendzone is disgusting. That’s why it’s an insidious manifestation of rape culture. Because it’s about men pursuing women with a feeling of expectation and entitlement, and then behaving like whiny little shits when they get told no**.
The words you use are very telling. And not in a good way.
[*They might feel rejected or sad, but they get over it because in society when a man says no that’s final, but when a woman says no it’s time for negotiations to start (that last bit is paraphrased from an amazing quote here).]
[** Although to be fair women don’t even say ‘no’ outright because they know it’s safer to let men down gently. They say things like ‘I think of you more as a friend’ which is how the friendzone got its name - from the very passive version of ‘no’ that women are forced to give.]
The reason I’ve stopped saying “most men/some white people/many straight people do X oppressive activity” is because if you’re a member of those groups, I want you to sit there and think, “do I do X? am I a part of that? am I an active part of the problem?”
If I say that only most or some people in those groups participates in X, that’s letting you off the hook! that means that you’re not asked to think about your actions and choices!
And besides, even if you yourself aren’t doing X, chances are you know at least five people who do. And I want you to think about them too.
My friend and I had to break a social norm for our sociology class so we drove around and catcalled boys (and one male teacher omfg) and they all looked so alarmed and confused and like they thought we were straight up crazy it was priceless and it rlly highlighted the fact that women just expect to be harassed when walking down the street whereas guys are just completely taken aback by it.
This is a really important thing for people to understand.
Went in with bell hooks about black womanhood, gender policing, trans women of color, desire, self-love and so much more during our intimate conversation at Ohio State University. It was organized by the Office of Diversity and Inclusion and the Multicultural Center and titled, "Gender Policing & the Politics of Defining Womanhood."
Last night, upon our first meeting, I gave bell my book Redefining Realness, and she surprised me at breakfast this AM by having read the entire book. She actually read passages to the audience! It was a transformative experience for both of us, as black women from different generations and experiences to share stories, insights and thoughts.
Dr Laurel Zwissler
We were talking about Slutwalks, when she dropped that truth bomb. “Don’t get my wrong, I want to dance at the revolution, but I don’t want my oppressors dancing with me”.
My closest friends always tell me that I have an aggressive personality — that I don’t take shit from anyone, ever — and that this is what both isolates me and makes me memorable. making people uncomfortable is political. I have no regrets.
“Kinks Shirt” by Matt Nathanson
What I really appreciate about this video is that the song makes no mention of the woman’s trans* status; they could have easily done something different with this video, and had Matt’s love interest be cis.
But no, she’s trans*, and most importantly, Matt doesn’t care. They meet, they flirt, they sleep together, they talk over breakfast and clearly have a connection. That’s what matters, not the fact that this woman wasn’t born with a vagina.
THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU GUYS.
I observe men in silence, how they leave plates on dining room tables, how they slam doors, how they take up whole couch with legs sprawled and lounging arms, how they do not filter speech, too confident, too loud. voices always violent, everything a war.